Be confident

However, the therapist does not need to go to extremes to demonstrate confidence. In fact, it is actually ill-advised for therapists to portray themselves as omnipotent and/or omniscient. A certain degree of humility is necessary to create and sustain an atmosphere of collaboration and mutual respect.

Therapists must be willing to admit that they do not know (or were wrong about) something, if appropriate, rather than try to fake their way through.

For example, one patient repeatedly referred to a "Reverend Percy" in his first therapy session.

At one point, he asked his therapist,
"You're aware of Reverend Percy's workin the community, aren't you?"

The therapist, not wanting to seem like he was ignorant about important civic leaders, was tempted to tell a white lie and answer "yes."

Fortunately, the therapist humbly admitted that he hadn't heard of Reverend Percy, but that he was interested in learning more about him.

The patient laughed, and stated that it was a good thing that the therapist didn't know Reverend Percy, because "I just made him up!"

By showing a willingness to admit that he didn't know something, the therapist passed the patient's rather clever but devious test. Therefore, the therapist preserved his credibility.

Another way therapists can demonstrate humble confidence is to apologize at times. Therapists can do this in response to misunderstandings or minor errors, such as a miscommunication about the exact date and time of a scheduled session, or a harsh sounding comment (e.g., "I'm sorry if my last statement sounded rather hard on you. Really, I'm on your side, but perhaps I got a little carried away just then because I was very concerned about you.").

The therapist communicates confidence by showing that he or she is not afraid to admit to a mistake, and that he or she is still optimistic about the course of therapy.

III. Maintaining a Positive Alliance over the Course of Treatment
7. Be Confident, But Be Humble
One of the most fundamental ways to help patients gain confidence and hope about the process of therapy is for therapists to show confidence in themselves. This involves such behavioral components as: clarity of voice, relaxed posture, no defensiveness, and an energetic optimism. However, the therapist does not need to go to extremes to demonstrate confidence. In fact, it is actually ill-advised for therapists to portray themselves as omnipotent and/or omniscient. A certain degree of humility is necessary to create and sustain an atmosphere of collaboration and mutual respect. Therapists must be willing to admit that they do not know (or were wrong about) something, if appropriate, rather than try to fake their way through. For example, one patient repeatedly referred to a "Reverend Percy" in his first therapy session. At one point, he asked his therapist, "You're aware of Reverend Percy's workin the community, aren't you?" The therapist, not wanting to seem like he was ignorant about important civic leaders, was tempted to tell a white lie and answer "yes." Fortunately, the therapist humbly admitted that he hadn't heard of Reverend Percy, but that he was interested in learning more about him. The patient laughed, and stated that it was a good thing that the therapist didn't know Reverend Percy, because "I just made him up!" By showing a willingness to admit that he didn't know something, the therapist passed the patient's rather clever but devious test. Therefore, the therapist preserved his credibility. Another way therapists can demonstrate humble confidence is to apologize at times. Therapists can do this in response to misunderstandings or minor errors, such as a miscommunication about the exact date and time of a scheduled session, or a harsh sounding comment (e.g., "I'm sorry if my last statement sounded rather hard on you. Really, I'm on your side, but perhaps I got a little carried away just then because I was very concerned about you."). The therapist communicates confidence by showing that he or she is not afraid to admit to a mistake, and that he or she is still optimistic about the course of therapy.
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